Reporting to you live today from Bridgestone Arena, home of the Stanley Cup Champion Nashville Predators (in some delusional alternate universe where rainbows actually lead to pots of gold)
This afternoon the supreme commander enacted a new mandate which bans Words With Friends from being played during soundcheck in the stage right wing. According to sources, this ban may be expanded to more include more territories and harsher punishments. Protesters have been seen organizing near the desserts in catering.
Match-tip tiny, Brookesia micro is the smallest of four new chameleon species found on the African island country of Madagascar. With an average adult length of just over an inch from snout to tail, B. micra is among the tiniest reptiles in the world.
In part one of our three part series looking into the life of the supreme commander (pictured above before his rise to power) we will be exploring the myths surrounding his facial mane. Contrary to popular belief, he did not start the beard to blend in with the herd of bears that he spent three years living with in northern Finland. It is actually an attempt at setting the Guinness World Record for most consecutive years without being clean shaven. The current progress is over 10 years, although he has admitted to trimming it two months ago. He also claims to have beard growth too thick for a normal razor, we suggest he tries the new Gillette Mach 3 Fusion (paid advertisement)
